Thursday, November 15, 2012

Moving Day

Today is moving day.  After six days of marking time in transitional care the big day has finally arrived.  We received word yesterday morning that Mom will be transferred to our long term care facility of choice.  Do I hear an Amen?

At some point I will take a closer look at the past two weeks.  The highs and lows.  The anxiety.  The grief.  The guilt.  The fear.  I think it will be a healthy thing for me to do before putting this move to rest.  But for now I'm going to take a deep breath and get through today.

I will not be be posting much, if at all until we return to Florida.  My sister has the mother of all firewalls on her Internet and I can't access it with my lap top.  I have worked at the hospital some and used my Mom's old desk top but I can't figure out how to transfer photos.  I'm certain it can be done.  I guess my head's just not fully engaged right now.

In case I'm not here, have a blessed Thanksgiving.  And don't eat too much turkey.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Roller Coaster of Uncertainty

On Thursday afternoon I walked off of an airplane and stepped onto a roller coaster of uncertainty.  I was ill prepared to deal with the level of politics and bureaucracy that was facing my sister and I.

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Mom had been proclaimed well enough for discharge by her cardiologist, there were no acceptable long term care beds available, the social worker at our facility of choice was not cooperating, and medicare said she must leave the sanctity of the hospital.  I'll not bore you with the details of Friday.  There are far too many and the story is as convoluted as a Grissom novel with colorful characters and almost as much political innuendo as the recent presidential election.  I will tell you that late that morning the rain stopped and the sun began to peek through the clouds.  Through the tireless efforts of her family physician, and some persistence on our part, we  received approval to transfer her to the transitional care unit at the hospital, a temporary stay of execution until a bed opens up elsewhere.  We have been told that she will most likely be moved into a quality facility by the end of the week. 

The knot has left my stomach but there will be no celebrating just yet.  Too much has happened in too short a time to convince me that this is over.  I have however purchased champagne and placed it on ice.  It never hurts to be prepared.

Thanks to all who have lifted us in prayer this week.  It was comforting to know we were wrapped in your love and support.  And a big thank you to Dr. K.  We would not have gotten to this point without her tenacity and her heart. 


Friday, November 9, 2012

Searching

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Searching for a ray of sunshine in a cloud filled sky.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

No Room in the Inn

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I'm leaving on a jet plane this afternoon.  There are meetings with doctors and social workers on the agenda for the next few days.  I'm not certain the outcome is going to be favorable.

For the past two years my 91 year old mother has been living with my sister.  The arrangement was far from perfect but it worked.  During this time her condition has slowly deteriorated.  Up until now her general health has been stable, mobility being the main issue.  Last spring Mom determined it was time for a change.  We visited long term health care facilities, made our selection and placed her on a waiting list in July.  She is still on that list.  We have learned during this waiting process that placement into a long term health care facility from home is next to impossible.  The needs of hospitalized individuals take precedent.

Early this week Mom had a middle of the night scare with her heart.  She was admitted to the hospital where she remains at this writing.  Her physician immediately initiated plans to transfer her directly to our preferred long term health care facility upon discharge.  It appeared there was a silver lining in this cloud of uncertainty.  Not so fast.  Yesterday we received word that there are no female beds available.  Not in our first choice or our second.  Not even in facilities that did not make our list.

Oh the irony.  It jumps up and smacks you in the face.  We did our due diligence.  Played by the rules.  When finally the promised land is reached there is no room in the inn.

There is a big picture here.  One that begs to be addressed.  However, you are in luck.  My soapbox is in the attic and I have a flight to catch.



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Lens Baby

Several years ago I purchased a funky little lens called the Lens Baby.  The Lens Baby's unique design allows the photographer to manipulate it in ways standard lenses don't permit.  The result produces a very small area that is in focus leaving the remainder of the image a soft blur.

I became enamoured with the creative possibilities this little gem had to offer.  However, once home and out of the box frustration struck in a big way.  I discovered that while the lens was cute and quirky it was extremely difficult to master.  My frustration mounted and soon the little lens found its way back into the box and on the shelf.  It has remained there for the better part of six years.  Every once in awhile I'd get the urge to give her another go but to no avail.  For me the Lens Baby was a bust.

Fast forward to last week when I stumbled upon a website featuring beautifully creative Lens Baby images.  Newly inspired, I blew the dust of the old girl, now a dinosaur in the Lens Baby family, determined to get it right.  For the past four days she has remained on the camera.  I have played with the attachments and remained stubbornly focused, (pun intended), on getting it right.

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I am far removed from producing anything close to the images of the LB gurus, but progress has been made.

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After sifting through a few hundred or so images from the past four days I have selected a few to share.

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It is extremely difficult to hold the camera,  manipulate the lens and keep the the focal point sharp.

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It was even more difficult on a moving boat.

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I'm not certain I will ever master the lens.  I'm told that the newer incarnations are easier to use.

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Maybe I should start saving my pennies.

P.S.  If I have piqued your interest and you would like to see some truly inspiring LB images, click HERE.



Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Day

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Today is the first Tuesday following the first Monday in November.  It is election day.  Exercise your inalienable right.

VOTE.

I'm Life in Color, and I approve this message.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Forever Changed

In a season with nineteen named tropical storms and one super storm our little island emerged virtually unscathed.  We are grateful for our good fortune while at the same time our hearts ache for those who lost everything hundreds of miles to our north.  Floridians know all too well the devastation mother nature can inflict upon the unsuspecting.

Sandy and Debby both passed Florida's shores this season, one to the east, one to the west.  They made landfall far to the north of Marco, yet their relentless winds whipped the Gulf into a frenzy and pounded our beach for days on end.  Sandy was such a large force of nature that she continued to bring high winds to south Florida some 48 hours after she came ashore in New Jersey.  Truly amazing.

We are blessed.  Our beach is large and white and beautiful.  To the untrained eye she appears to be the same as she was before this storm season.  But those of us who know her well know better.  She is forever changed.


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The relentless surf gouged out a trough along the northern half of the beach that now emerges as a large tidal pool when the tide is out.  It is a smorgasbord of delight for wading birds.

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There is a new inlet to the far north and the gentle curve of our crescent beach is now more pronounced.

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I would estimate that in some areas we lost 20' to 30' feet of sand.  This would be devastating on the east coast where the beaches are narrow.  But on Marco it is barely noticeable to the untrained eye.

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And yet, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

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On this morning the sky was a brilliant shade of blue and the sun was shining.  Walkers and joggers dotted the beach.

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Egrets were fishing.

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Shell seekers were having a field day sifting through the bounty that Sandy had tossed ashore on her way north.

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Along the coast there is a delicate balance between man and nature.  We would be foolish not to recognize who has the upper hand.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

A Slice of Life

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Even when our vision is clouded and the future seemingly out of focus, the view can be spectacular.

Friday, November 2, 2012

The Perils of Insomnia

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After a sleepless night and checking the clock for the tenth time in an hour I finally gave up and hauled myself out of bed.  It was 5:00 a.m.  In my worst imitation of a cat burgler I tripped over the dog in the dark and then stumbled into a display board of tile on loan from a local store, sending it crashing to the floor. The noise was loud enough to wake the dead and my tender feet are now full of tile shards.

Do you think they will charge me for shattering their tile board?

Thursday, November 1, 2012

He's Got Game

One of the main reasons we made the six hour trek from Nashville to Hickory was to attend the G-man's soccer game.  It was the final match of the season and our last chance to catch our little man in action.

I am a big fan of youth sports, as long as it's age appropriate and not taken too seriously.  (We wouldn't want these kids to be forced to eat rice for breakfast on game day or anything else equally ridiculous.  Isn't that right Stephen?)  Walking the sidelines and cheering on the team really gets my adrenalin flowing and reminds me how very much I miss the days of old when my boys were on the field and in the pool.   But time waits for no man and now I have the pleasure of watching my grandchildren experience the thrill of competition.

En route to the game the G-man was stoked.  It was game day and he had a fan club.  Soon after the first whistle blew it was clear that our boy knew what to do with the ball.

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Time after time he skillfully wrestled the ball away from his opponents and made tracks for the goal.  He was a man on a mission scoring point after point for the Yellow Jackets.

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Clearly he gets it.  After spending the first half of the season picking flowers and tirelessly running alongside whomever had the ball Dad had a talk with the child.  For four years it had been drilled into his psyche to play nice and share.  Once Dad explained that soccer is a game and that stealing the ball is part of the game the light clicked on.

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Of course when you are four there are always distractions.

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But they were short lived and he was soon back on his game.

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When time ran out no one seemed to know who had won or lost.  There were smiles all around as the two teams met on the field to shake hands.  A lesson in good sportsmanship one is never too young to learn.

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 But for the G-man, the best was yet to come.

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Don't worry little buddy, something tells me there will be many more trophies in your future.