Friday, February 3, 2012
Impressive Yet Useless
Spurred on by Chokoolonks (one of the ever increasing number of blogs I read on a daily basis. If this keeps up I'll do nothing more with my days than read what everyone else in the universe is writing and never get to writing my own.), who blogged the other morning about the useless things she knew or could do. Soon my feeble brain was off and running. I was certain my list would be long. Filled with a myriad of knowledge and skills that serve no purpose. I was wrong. I could only come up with three. But three is blog worthy and you know me, I have to share.
Did you know that I can recite a list of every preposition known to mankind. Or at least the list that was known to mankind when I was 11 and forced to memorize it. Did my 5th grade teacher actually believe that knowing every single preposition known to man would somehow make my life better? Pull that tidbit out at a cocktail party and see where it gets you. Valuable brain cells have been wasted with forty prepositions that can be spouted on command in alphabetical order. No wonder I can't remember what I had for dinner last night those darn prepositions are in the way.
I also know all of the words to the theme song from Mr. Ed. A horse is a horse of course of course and no one can talk to a horse of course, that is of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed. Go right to the source and ask the horse, he'll give you the answer that you'll endorse, he's always on a steady course, talk to Mr. Ed. Go ahead, Google it. I dare you.
36-24-36-16. No those aren't my measurements. It is the combination to my high school gym locker. Information that could be classified as useful if said lock could be located and wasn't consumed by rust and decay after 40 plus years in a landfill somewhere in western Pennsylvania.
I'm certain there are more. The Kid is always rolling his eyes in his "who cares" fashion when I spout these bits of useless trivia. But I can't seem to locate them in my head. It's the prepositions. I'm sure of it.